The ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people. –John Maxwell

This post is a review of John Maxwell’s book, Everyone Communicates Few Connect. The quote above is a great summation of what John is looking to get across to his readers. Whether you find yourself talking to big audiences, a small group, or even simply one-on-one, you’ll find great, practical tips on improving your ability to connect with people in a way that they can truly understand and act on what you are saying. Here are some highlights:

-Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.  

Think about just that statement. What if you could communicate and identify with people in such a way as to increase your ability to influence them in a positive way? Could you see that helping you improve your family relationships? How about your work relationships? Every relationship has the potential to improve if we are looking to really make a connection with the other person.

-The best leaders are always excellent communicators.

Do you believe that? Have you ever worked with a leader who was a poor communicator? I have and it’s not much fun! The people being led need someone who can help them understand the vision because if they can’t understand the vision, they can’t help in fulfilling the vision. If you are a leader, you owe it to yourself and those you lead to improve your ability to communicate and connect effectively.

-Everybody is in a hurry, but that prevents most of us from connecting with others effectively. If you want to connect with people, you need to slow down.

This is perhaps the biggest lesson I’ve needed recently. People don’t care how busy you are. They don’t care about how important you think you are. Yes, your time is valuable, but to truly connect, we need to see others as valuable and as worthy of our time. To slow down and have a meaningful conversation with someone speaks volumes to them and it says a lot about you as a leader.

Everyone Communicates Few Connect, is a book that will benefit employers as they seek to connect with employees. It will benefit parents who seek to connect with their children. It will benefit people who speak to large groups like pastors and teachers. While the title is correct in acknowledging that few connect, the reality is that we all need to connect as we communicate. You can order John’s book from my web site by clicking here.

If you would liked to be coached in how to improve your communication or are interested in attending or hosting a seminar on this topic, please visit my John Maxwell Team web site at www.johnmaxwellgroup.com/davejochum.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Actually, it wasn’t hard at all because I find myself making a number of mistakes throughout the day. Yet, with all of my practice in making mistakes, it still really frustrates me when it happens. So, with my most recent faux paux, I decided to try to glean some life lessons. A little dramatic? Yes, but lessons none the less.

Yesterday, I sent an email to 99 people about an upcoming Leadership Forum session that I lead at Celebration Church. The correct date of the meeting is Monday, November 21st. However, in my haste to send the email, I typed, Monday, November 19th. In the 24 hours since sending the email, 38 of the 99 have opened the email. That means that 60 people have NOT opened it as of yet. I received 9 responses, which is about 9% of the total and 23% of those that opened the email.

So, what have I learned?

1. Over 60% of the people emailed have not even opened it in the first 24 hours.

2. Of those who opened it, only 23% responded. So, people either didn’t see the typo, didn’t care about the typo (the “I” or “Otter” personalities), or assumed that I knew about it and concluded they didn’t need to bother me (the “C” or “Retriever” Personalities).

3. Of those who responded, 77% emailed me to point out my mistake. (Those must be the “D” or “Lion” personalities or possibly the “S” or “Beaver” people)

4. And finally, 2 people – 2% of the whole or 5% of the responders – replied to let me know they will be coming to the event, which is the response I asked for in the first place.

What did I REALLY learn?

While I could make all kinds of assumptions about the people who did or didn’t respond and why they responded the way they did, the BIGGER lesson of leadership here is that I managed to NOT CONNECT with a sizable group of people. So, what can I do to correct that?

In one of John Maxwell’s recent books, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect,” John writes that “connecting is a choice” and that the following choices will increase your chances (and my chances) of connecting with others:

1. Availability – “I will choose to spend time with others.”

2. Listening – “I will listen my way to common ground.”

3. Questions – “I will be interested enough in others to ask questions.”

4. Thoughtfulness – I will think of others and look for ways to thank them.”

5. Openness – “I will let people into my life.”

6. Likability – “I will care about people.”

7. Humility – “I will think of myself less so I can think of others more.”

8. Adaptability – “I will move from my world to theirs.”

So, to those who opened this and read it – Thank You! To all of the Leadership Forum members – thank you for being a part of the Forum. It’s a joy to work with you and I look forward to seeing you AND CONNECTING WITH YOU on MODAY, NOVEMBER 21!!

P.S. – If you are a part of the Forum, but will not make it next Monday, please leave a comment below or email me. Thanks!

“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” George S. Patton

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure.” Colin Powell

“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it.” Norman Schwarzkopf

In honor of the men and women of the U.S. military, my friend Steve Carlile, wrote and performed a song called, Welcome Him Back. Steve is the co-founder of Celebrating Home and his company is using this video and sales of their Celebrating Hope Candle to support the Wounded Warrior Project. Please take a few minutes to watch the video and consider supporting Wounded Warrior Project by purchasing a candle.

To all of our veterans, we say – THANK YOU!

So one purpose of homecoming is to be a point of uniting of students and alumni and to create a stronger sense of school spirit. All of this got me thinking about potential & leadership. That’s one of the reasons to celebrate homecoming. It’s a celebration of the potential of the school and it’s students; a celebration of the accomplishments (the fulfilled potential) of the alumni. I believe that Homecoming (and Coming Home) communicates three things about potential & leadership.

1. Coming Home helps us stay in touch with our roots. Good Leaders are well-grounded people and being well-grounded includes never losing sight of where you’ve come from. Regardless of the nature of your past – whether happy and healthy or sad and dysfunctional – being able to reflect on it and learn from it sets good leaders apart from great leaders.

2. Coming Home reminds us of our potential. When we return home, we come back seeing things from a different perspective. We see ourselves from a different perspective. Great leaders don’t let their own filters get in the way of their vision. They can look at life from varied perspectives.

3. Coming Home helps us re-establish and deepen our relationships. This is of critical importance for the person who aspires to be a great leader. John Maxwell says, “Leadership is influence – nothing more, nothing less.” And in order to influence, you have to build relationships. In his new book, The 5 Levels of Leadership, John makes this point: “Building relationships develops a foundation for effectively leading others.” Homecoming is a great reminder of the importance of relationships.

So, whether you’ve celebrated a homecoming this year or not – take some time to reflect on the leadership lessons of “Coming Home.” Stay grounded, remember that your potential is unlimited, and spend time on building relationships.

What we need most at this point is prayer. It has been said that because of the timing of the incident, this could impact the fishing, shrimping and oyster industries for as many as three years. Thousands of people earn their livelihood from these industries in South Louisiana alone. I’m not sure what the impact would be on the other Gulf States. The prayer request is that God would miraculously stop the oil from spewing – that the well would be capped off. Also, pray for favorable winds to keep the oil off of our coasts. This would be a miracle as the winds are beginning to come out of the south at this time of year which pushes the oil closer to the land. But our God is able, so pray, pray, pray.

In an email to the Greater New Orleans Pastor’s Coalition, Dennis Watson, Pastor of Celebration Church, said, “This is an opportunity for the Church of Jesus Christ to rise up once again to “stand in the gap” for our city and region.  We stood up together in “service to our community” following Hurricane Katrina, and the Lord worked miracles in, for and through His church.  Let us stand together again this time in a cooperative prayer effort, asking for and believing that God will respond to the prayers of His people.  James 4:2 reads, “You have not because you ask not, and James 5:16 reads, “The fervent prayer of righteous men and women has great power and wonderful results.” May we see the Lord work mightily and miraculously in response to our prayers, and may He, and He alone, receive the glory for stopping this great disaster.”

Join us at one of our Celebration Church campuses on May 2nd as we observe a time of prayer concerning this problem. Thank you for your prayers

The bond between New Orleans and the Saints exist in part because the people of this region love the game of football. I don’t think any explanation is needed for that. Some parts of the country love baseball, some love basketball, and some love soccer or another sport. The people of Louisiana love football.

Another reason for this connection is that the name of the team reflects the rich religious heritage of South Louisiana. In Louisiana’s early days, Catholic priests determined to win the territory for Christ. In 1845, Southern Baptists proclaimed that one of their top three missions was to win New Orleans for Christ. Sometimes we have great misconceptions among our residents as to what “Saint” really means, but we all agree that’s it’s a special designation.

The biggest reason, in my opinion, for the people’s enduring love of the New Orleans Saints is the strong sense of loyalty found in this community. People who have grown up here usually have roots that run very deep. My family can be traced back in New Orleans for over 150 years. With those deep roots comes a great loyalty to family, neighbors, co-workers, and football teams. This city has always especially loved those Saints players who embraced the city and stuck it out with their team. Archie Manning is probably the best example of such a player. Best known now as the father of Eli and Payton, Archie spent 11 years as the Saints quarterback through some tough, losing seasons. Archie always came across as a humble, hard-working, loyal individual. Those are qualities that most in New Orleans are drawn to. Fast-forward to today and you can see similar qualities in Drew Brees and Sean Peyton.

One final reason for this bond is a hurricane named Katrina. Now I know the rest of the country would love for us to stop talking about it, but the reality is that Katrina did more than wash away people’s stuff. It profoundly changed everyone with a connection to the city. In the months following the storm, there was talk that the Saints might not return. That would have sent a huge signal to the people of this region that we should just shut the whole place down. In my opinion, there would have been little reason to renovate and repair the Superdome and that would have sparked a domino affect of discouragement across the region. The return of the Saints, especially as played out in the Superdome on that first game against the Atlanta Falcons in August of 2006, was extremely energizing and it fueled the desire of the residents to continue to move forward with their rebuilding efforts.

So now maybe you can see why this city loves it’s Saints and why the last several weeks have been so exciting for the people here. Most Saints fans would have been elated just to see the team in the Super Bowl, but to win it? That was some unexpected lagniappe and it says to the world, New Orleans is not only back, but we are winners.

Everyone was aware that it would take a long time for this area to recover from such a devastating event. The good news is that we are a very resilient group. I have been especially impressed with the people of St Bernard Parish (maybe I’m prejudiced because I’m from there). They are getting amazingly stronger everyday. Businesses are coming back, houses are being rebuilt, churches (including Celebration Church’s own St Bernard Campus) are reaching out once again and the school district has been a leader in the recovery effort there.

The recovery effort throughout the region is not only a glowing reminder of the things we can accomplish when we work hard, but it is also a testimony to the grace of God.

I’m writing this while attending the Celebration Church Men’s Victory Retreat and I’m reminded that we each need victory over our past. We sometimes need corporate recovery and we often need individual recovery. I’m so grateful to serve the one God who offers recovery, forgiveness and freedom over past hurts, habits, and hang-ups.

In 2 Corinthians 3:17-18, the Apostle Paul writes, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the lord, who is the Spirit.”

Thank God for the Victory that is ours in Christ!